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Ray Allen, routinely inundated with angry messages from Boston Celtics fans on social media, admitted Thursday he was anxious before a rare public appearance in the city on Wednesday night.
Allen engaged in a moderated question-and-answer session Wednesday at Boston's Wilbur Theatre to promote his new book, "From the Outside: My Journey through Life and the Game I Love" but said a largely positive response from the crowd left him encouraged that he'll eventually be embraced by the city again.
"I didn't know how people [in Boston] would respond. Or if people here still cared to see me. If it mattered to them, of if they are over me because I am gone," Allen said Thursday during a visit to ESPN's campus.
"I know people are upset at me because I left, and I want people to see this: We won a championship together. We have a banner up there. That to me is way more important than anything. I know it's easy for [fans] because they see that I won in Miami the next year and so many people are talking about that and it brings them angst because they're like, 'Well, that wasn't us winning.' I understand that and get it. It's important that we understand that the five years that I was there, the great stuff that we did together."
During his publicity tour for the book, Allen has been bombarded with questions about his strained relationship with Rajon Rondo and the other members of Boston's 2008 title team after he signed with the rival Miami Heat in 2012.
Paul Pierce has expressed uneasiness at Allen airing some of the 2008 title team's laundry, but Allen has said that the book is his way of telling his "truths" about his Boston experience.
Allen said he's uncertain how long it will take to ultimately mend fences with his former teammates, but he is clearly eager for Boston fans to embrace his contributions during his five years with the Celtics.
"For a minute, I started to think, 'Wow, do people even care what I contributed to this city?' Not only on the court but off the court," said Allen. "Because, for the vitriol that I had been getting online, it's like nobody cared that we raised millions of dollars for diabetes anymore. Nobody cared that we built computer labs in local Boston schools. Because we wanted to build a community and make it better and have an impact and give back to the people that gave us so much by their support. Now I'm a villain, I'm a bad person. I'm like, 'No, I'm the same person.' I'm still me, it's just that we had to move on. There's so many circumstances at play, but ultimately it doesn't change who I am."
Allen, who has a residence in Connecticut, said he's been back to Boston to golf with friends in recent years but has avoided public appearances. When Allen didn't show up for Pierce's jersey retirement ceremony in February -- something he insists he didn't know was happening, though the Celtics contend he was formally invited -- the online uproar against him raged again.
"It's so confusing because you get all these message online, some death threats and, 'You better not ever come back to Boston.' But then in the same breath people say, 'How come you didn't come to the ceremony? You're a traitor and you're this and that,' and then call me all kind of names," said Allen. "I don't understand. You guys want me to come, you don't want me to come? You love me, you don't love me? What exactly is it?
"Time takes what it needs to heal, whatever issues that occur. I've been extremely happy in everything that has occurred in my life and the things that I've experienced. And my family keeps me grounded. I've appreciated to be able to just kinda live a good life afterwards. And that involves still being proud of my time in Boston and the people I know there."
Allen has repeatedly characterized the ill will with Rondo as "unfortunate" and is clearly stung by still being an outsider, especially as the 2008 team makes plans to celebrate the 10-year anniversary of Boston's 17th world title.
"I will say that I don't have any animosity toward anybody," said Allen. "I was glad to do what I did [in Boston]. I felt like I was a privileged to be able to be in the situation that I was in. Being a Celtic -- most guys know it -- it can be tough for some people, but I loved it, I cherished it."
Still, Allen doesn't sound in a rush to be the first to extend an olive branch.
"I'm always trying to figure out how to improve who I am as a person. And I take all suggestions," said Allen. "So many people that you need to go apologize. And I was like, as a free agent, I signed a contract to go somewhere else. Just like everybody else did.
"I hate to throw James Posey's name in the fold, but I remember he signed and I was like, 'You signed with New Orleans? He came down and signed the contract and he was like, 'Yeah, I mean [Celtics president of basketball operations] Danny [Ainge] wasn't giving me what I needed. I had to sign a contract.' And [remaining Celtics] were like, 'What?' But he was still part of us. He still was a brother. He was still respected. There was no straining, no ill will. That's kinda my mentality."
Pierce and Allen started to mend fences a bit last year during a promotional tour in China, and Allen said he apologized for how things escalated after his decision to sign with Miami.
"Paul and I talked, and I apologized to him, and I said, 'Look, it wasn't personal. It wasn't like I tried to make you feel less than my brother or teammate,'" said Allen. "I was in a tough situation, and before you know it it got too far out of control and I was trying to, like, hold on. Even going to Miami, I was thinking,' This is crazy that I'm going to Miami.' But you have to make your decisions and you gotta move forward with it."
(ESPN)
