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By APD writer Alice
Unmarried middle-aged people called 'parasite singles' or ‘parasaito shinguru’ in Japan are facing a gloomy future as they entirely depend on their parents and do nothing even when their parents pass away.
In a matchmaking center in Tokyo, a group of well-dressed people were sitting around tables chatting in murmurs. They exchanged personal records and said some polite sentences. All were looking for partners with the help of the center. Even at that time, their parents had to go with them.
A 38-year-old woman who declined to tell her name said she "has no courage" to find a lover and leave the house where she is living with her mother. It was her mother that brought her to this "matchmaking party". She said: "I do not have many good opportunities to meet other people. In the place where I work, all are women. That's why we come here."
A 74-year-old man came to the "matchmaking party" with his 46-year-old son. He pointed to another problem that his son is facing: he is too shy. He said: "My son is a salesman. He is good at communicating with customers, but he is very shy when mentioning women. He is too busy to find a partner himself." The man has three children, the oldest daughter is married, while the youngest, a doctor in the US, is currently 34 years old and still single. He expressed his concern: "People say that it is difficult for a female doctor to find her husband." He currently lives with his second son, and he is also unmarried.
The expression ‘parasaito shinguru” was first used by Professor Masahiro Yamada of Tokyo Gakugei University in his bestselling book “The Age of Parasite Singles” published in October 1999. This special group features those who live entirely on their parents including housing, daily spending, necessities and even washing and eating. According to the professor, there are many reasons for this group to form, one of which is that they think it is a waste of time building relationships with people who do not meet the standards they set.
According to the Japanese government’s data in 2019, about a quarter of Japan’s citizens aged 20-49 are still single. Although they still want to get married, growing economic pressures make it increasingly difficult.
A survey conducted by the Statistical Research and Training Institute in 2016 showed that some 4.5 million Japanese aged between 35 and 54 were living with their parents.
The figure is now much higher as the modern life allows children to live in considerable comfort. While some save money and others spend all their income on luxury items, traveling, and other non-essential expenses, many children wish to live with their parents until they marry. The parents, for their part, often enjoy living with their children. Many parents want to protect their children and offer them the best possible start in life.
Without pensions or savings of their own, these middle-aged stay-at-homes threaten to place an extra burden on a social welfare system that is already creaking under pressure from Japan’s aging population and shrinking workforce.
Professor Yamada further explained that it is normal for young adults to continue living with their parents until marriage, which means that the pressure to find a spouse will be reduced. In addition, difficulties in finding houses made this phenomenon increasing. Currently, about 20% of single people stay with their parents for support and they are the real "parasites". After using all the inherited assets and savings, they will seek financial support from the government. These are considered "time bombs" of Japan, where the population aging is high in the world.
Shigeki Matsuda, a sociology professor at Chukyo University in Aichi prefecture pointed out a fact in this country: "Women like to look for men who have good education and stable jobs, and must be taller than them". This was also seen in the "matchmaking party", where a group of women lined up to exchange personal information with a man with the highest income among candidates. "The proportion of unmarried people will continue to remain unchanged, unless many women accept marrying a man who earns less than them," Shigeki Matsuda said.
After the World War II, Japan built its economy based on a "lifetime employment" culture, which means that businesses almost make no layoffs and their workers do not change their workplace until the end of their life. However, that model has changed rapidly and the sustainability of the jobs has also gradually declined.
Since the early 1990s, the rate of employees without jobs and labor contracts has increased from 15% to 40%. "The low income level and the increasing fear of being fired at any time make young people no longer think about getting married and having a family," said Shuchiro Sekine, president of the trade union of a company. Even if workers want to find a dating partner, unguaranteed job and low income also make it difficult for them to have a suitable partner.
Matchmaking parties have become a "reluctant" thing for many people, but the reality is that they are still "lucky". Many people have so low income that they don't think about attending this activity.
Japan is not the only country with these "parasites". According to Nexter, a New York couple in 2019 sued their 30-year-old son for "not being mature" and refusing to leave home despite repeated requests from his parents. The British also used the term NEET (Not in Education, Employment, or Training) to refer to a part of young people who do not contribute to labor force in society or participate in educational or training activities. They are persons who separate from social competition, have no economic income and are completely "parasitic" on the family.
(ASIA PACIFIC DAILY)
