WOW|“Mom and Dad, Please Don’t Leave”( I )

APD Columnist|Wang Xia, Beijing Foreign Studies University

Teenageisanageofloveandhope,andateenageboyshouldthirsttoexploreknowledgeinclassandsweatheavilyontheplaygroundafterclass,longingforinfinitepossibilitiesinthefuturewithparentalcareandundereducation.ButforWangDa,a13-year-oldleft-behindchildfromShuanghe,acountrysideincentralChina’sShanxiProvince,thingsaredifferent:heoftenplaystruant,staysinthenetbarforthewholenight,andsometimesevenendinthepolicestationforsuchmisbehaviorasstealingandaffrayintheschool.

RightnowWangDaisinthelocalpolicestationbecausehebrokeinahouseholdinthevillageandstolethreethousandyuanseveraldaysagowithoneofhiscompanions.Andthepoliceareaskinghimsomequestionsandgivinganideologicaleducation,waitingforhisguardian—theparents,whoarereturninghomefromJiangsuProvinceasmigrantworkers,todiscusshowtodealwiththiscase.Heishauntedbyfearthathisparentsdon’tcareabouthimandworkoutsidethehometownagaindespitethefactthathewillbepunishedforhismisdoing.

“IhavejustrealizedImadeaseriousmistakeandverysorrytomyparents.”saidWangDa,whopresseshisheadverylowandrubshishandsconstantly.Hewearsthedirtyschooluniformandapairofwhiteshabbyshoeswithmanystainsonthem,whichseemsthathedoesn’tbewashedforalongtime.Expressingmuchofhisguilt,hisfaceisredwithblack.

“Iknowmyparentshavetotoildayinanddayoutinthefactoryformoney,”saysWangDa,hiseyesglisteningwithtears.”butIdohopethatourdoorisopenandmymomisinafterschool,Imissthemverymuch.”

WangDaisinthesecondgradeinalocalschoolnamedZhangguanJuniorHighSchool.Afterhisparentslefthomeforwork,hehaslivedwithhisgrandfatherandstep-grandmother,bothofwhomaretoooldtoinstructhisschoolingandtakecareofhispsychologicalconditionandemotion.Sofromthenon,hewascarelesswithhishomeworkanddevelopedmanyunhealthyhabits,likenetworkaddiction,fightingwithothers,disappearancewithnoreasons.

“Theboyisclear,andhedoesverywellinGradeOne.Butnowhenotonlyoftenfailsintheexamsbutmakestroubleintheschool,”saidZhaoXiaoyan,WangDa’steacherinchargeoftheclass,addingthatheisfacedwithproblemsinpsychologyandcommunicationwithothersforlackofpropereducationandcarefromparents.

WangDa’scasehaspromptedLiuShuling,theheadmasterofZhangguanJuniorHighSchool,tobeconcernedaboutthestudyandpsychologicalconditionofleft-behindchildreninherschool.“Thereisanincreasingnumberofleft-behindchildrenhere,whotendtobemoreintroversive,sensitive,self-abasedandanxious,andWangDaisjustaspecialcaseinpoint.”

“WangDaIsNottheOnlyOne”

Justastheheadmasternoted,WangDaisnotanexclusivecase,butamongmillionsofleft-behindchildreninChina.AccordingtoareportreleasedbyAll-ChinaWomen’sFederation,in2014,thereareover61millionleft-behindchildrenacrossthecountry,accountingfor37.7%ofchildreninruralareasand21.9%ofChina’schildren,whichmeansthatinevery5children,thereisoneleft-behind.Andasamplesurveyundertakenbytheorganizationrevealsthatabout9millionchildrencannotseetheirparentsinayear.From2005to2010,thepopulationofleft-behindchildrenincreasedby24.5million,arapidgrowthrate.

Behindthesecoolfiguresarevariouskindsofwarmandmovingstoriesinleft-behindfamilies.Fromthetimeparentspacktheluggageandgetonthetrain,thekidsstarttolongforthenextreunionwiththeirparents.ThisisthesamesituationinthecountryofShuanghe,wherethereare106householdshere,about70ofwhichareleft-behindfamilies.Among80left-behindchildren,almostallofthemcanseetheirparentsonceayearorevenlonger.Intheeyesofthekids,Icanseethedesiretobelovedandcared,buttherealityisthattheyhavetorelyonthemselvestodomanythingswhichmaynotbetakenattheiragerangingfromdoingthewashingtocookingmeals.

WangDatoldmethatthoughheliveswithhisgrandparents,buttheycanbarelylookafterhislifeforoldageandillness.Hemayhaveabetterluckthanotherkids,becausehissister,two-yearolderthanhim,washestheclothesandcooksforhim.Theystudyinthesameschool,butbothofthemdonotverywellintheircourses.“Imayfailinmanysubjectsinthepastexam,”hesaid,“TherearemanyquestionsIcan’tworkout.”

Hissister,WangMiao,isalsofacedwithdifficultyinstudy.Hergrandfathersaidshehastodosomuchofthehouseworkthatshedoesn’thaveenoughtimetostudy.“Miaoisveryobedientandwell-behaved,andsometimesshouldertheresponsibilityofhermotherduringtheirabsence.”Itseemscommoninthecountrythattheelderleft-behindchildtakecareoftheyounger.

AnothercaseinpointisWangWeiwei,whoseparentsjustreturnedhomefromafactoryinZhejiangProvincefortheSpringFestival.Sincehergrandmahasdisease,shehastodothehousework,lookafterhergrandmaandyoungersisterandgotoschoolatthesametime.Hermother,namedChenShuqin,toldmethatshefoundWangWeiwei’sstudyisonthedecrease,shefailedinthesubjectsofmathmatics,Englishandscienceinthetermexam.“IfeelsorrytoWeiwei,andI’malittleworryaboutherstudy,soIwillnotgooutsidetowork,allowinghertofocusonstudyingratherthanhome.”

BesidesDifficultiesinStudy,PsychologicalProblemsareMoreSerious

Weiweiisalovelyandoutgoinggirl,whosingsverywellandenjoyssharinghersongsinschoolbefore.Sinceshelivedseparatedfromherparents,shehasn’tspokentoomuch.Hermomtoldmethatshebecomesintroversive,notwillingtoplayortalktoomuchwithherpeers,andthatshejustwantstostayathomewithher.

“Severaldaysagowhenshebrokenabowl,shestartedtocryevenifIdidn’tblameher,”saidhermom,“I’venoideawhenthekidbecomessosensitive,it’snotverygood.”

HermomcanstillrememberwhenshewasinZhejiangandcalledWeiweionce,thekidcriedheavilyanddidn’thangupthephone,beggingfortheirreturninghome.“Shesaidshewasverysadwithourabsenceoftheschool’sparents’meetings.Herclassmateswithparentsinpresenceaskedwhyherparentsdidn’tcome,soshefelthurtandhidherselfinthecorner.”It’sevidentthatWeiweiisalittleself-abasedforlackofdailycarefromparents.Ifthesepassivemoodandthoughtsarenotcopedwithproperly,theywillhavealife-longinfluenceonher.Bycontrast,WangDa’sconditionismoreserious,andhehasmanypsychologicalandbehavioralproblems.

Accordingtotheteacher,ZhaoXiaoyan,WangDaissoaddictedtotheinternetthathealwaysplaystruanttostayinthebarforseveraldaysinarow.ShestillrememberedthataftertheNationalDayholiday,hedidn’tcomebacktoschoolintime,forthesakeofsafetyshehastenedtosearchhimaswellascalledhisparents.Fortunately,hewasfoundinabaronthestreetcornerandbroughttoschool.Thenacknowledgedthathewasfoundandsafe,thestonehangingintheheartofhisparentscanfinallyfall.

“Buttheparentsdon’tdoanythingtopreventithappeningagain.”Shesaid.“Afterbringinghimtomyoffice,Ididn’tgivehimascold,butaskedhimtowriteapieceofguarantee,pledgingthathedidn’tgotothenetanymore.Butherespondedwithnofacialexpression,whichseemedhewasn’tverywillingtowritenorguiltyofhiswrongdoing.”

Duringtheconversationatthattime,Icanseetheteachersighandshakeherheadfromtimetotime.Andshealsoshowedmethephotosandtoldstoriesabouttheleft-behindchildreninherclass,withtearsrollinginhereyes.Icanfeelherendeavortocleanthedustintheheartofthelovelykids.”Butwhattheyneedsmostistheattentionandcareofparentsintheirdailylife.”Shesaidintheend.

Luckily,threedayslaterafterWangDawasbroughtintothepolicestation,hisfather,WangJunandhismother,LiuLireturnedhomefromJiangsu,andarrivedatthestationroundtheclock.Hisfatherbeggedthepolicenottopunishtheboywhoistooyoungtobeawareoftheseverity,andhe’dliketoshoulderalltheresponsibilities.

“Wehaveinvestigatedthecasecarefully.Ashe’sajuvenileunder16,asguardians,youshouldreturn3000yuanbackandcompensateadditional500yuan.”thepolicemansaid,addingthatyouparentsshouldbestrictwithchildtoobeythecodeofconduct.

Thenthefamilywenthome,hisfatherdidn’tsayawordandclosedhiseyes,perhapsblaminghimselforregretting,whilehismotherjustcriedandpersuadedWangDatoconductwellandbehavewell.

Thenhisparentswenttotheteacher,andweretoldthatadolescenceisastagefullofrebellionwherethekidsareeasytobeconfusedandlikelytogointothewrongway,andeducationismoreimportantthanmakingmoney.

Hismomsaid“Iwillnotgooutsidetoworknextyearandtakecareoftwokidsathome.Icannotignoreparentaleducationanymoredespitetheinsufficiencyofmaterialsandpovertyinlife.”

IthinkthisiswhatWangDawantsmostrightnow.