Coldplay: A Head Full of Dreams review – a failure to commit to pop

DespiteropingintheproductionteambehindhitsbyRihannaandKatyPerry,ChrisMartinandcocan’tseemtohelplapsingintothesameoldwindyclichesandnondescriptballadry.

FewalbumsinrecentmemoryhavesufferedfrommoredispiritingadvancepublicitythanColdplay’sAHeadFullofDreams.Itcamenotfromthesourcesthatdispiritingadvancepublicityaboutalbumsusuallydoes–notfromsnarkymusicjournalists,oracandidinterviewrevealingthatitsrecordingwasunbridledmiseryandtheendproductadisappointment–butfromthecelebritygossippress,inwhichChrisMartinhasbeenunluckyenoughtofindhimselfapermanentfixturesincehismarriagetoGwynethPaltrow.ItwasAprilwhenHeatmagazineofferedsomewhite-hotintelligenceonMartin’screativestimulusforthefollow-uptoGhostStories,courtesyofoneofthose“unnamedinsiders”they’realwaysquoting.“Hetellsfriendsthere’snobetterwaytofindsonginspirationthanexperiencingsexualchemistrywithanotherhuman.He’sprettymuchwrittenanentirealbumofhisloveescapadessinceheofficiallybecamesingle.”

Thatideaseemssoghastlythatit’shardnottowonderwhetherthewholethingwasnotsomekindofdementedfabrication,butcounter-intelligencedeliberatelyplantedbyColdplaythemselves,onthegroundsthatwhatevertheywereintheprocessofcomingupwithcouldn’tpossiblybeasawfulasthat.AndsoitproveswithAHeadFullofDreams,onwhichtheproductionseatonceoccupiedbyBrianEnoandelectronicauteurJonHopkinsisgivenovertoStargate:anyColdplayfansoftheReal-Music-Played-By-Real-Musiciansbent,horrifiedtofindthequartetworkingwiththeNorwegianteamresponsiblefor,amongotherthings,Rihanna’sUmbrella,KatyPerry’sFireworkandYlvis’noveltyhitWhatDoesTheFoxSay,mightconsolethemselveswiththefactthatatleastthey’renotlisteningtoanentirealbumofChrisMartin’s“loveescapades”.Butactually,youaresporadicallyassailedbytheterriblefearthatsomeofthelyricsmightbeaboutthatverytopic–thattheAdventureofaLifetimealludedtoinonetitlemightinvolvethenewlysinglefrontmanswashbucklinghiswaythroughavarietyofconquests,amongthemtheladyheapprovingly,ifoddly,comparestoboththePyramidsandtheHangingGardensofBabyloninArmyofOne.Butfrankly,it’salmostimpossibletotell:foronce,Martin’sinabilitytowriteinanythingotherthanclichesandgeneralisationsfeelslikeasmallmercyratherthanablackmark.

ThisstuffisalotmoreappealingthanthemomentswhenColdplayreverttotype.OuroldpalthewindyplatitudeblowsinoncemoreonKaleidoscope,amusicalinterludefeaturingnotmerelyasampleofBarackObamasingingAmazingGrace,butaboomingvoicereadingoutJalālad-DīnMuhammadRūmī’sTheGuestHouse,apoempopularwiththemanufacturersofmotivationalpostersfeaturingsoft-focusphotosofsunrisesandmountainsinmist.Everglow,meanwhile,isthekindofnondescriptpianoballadthatamountstoColdplaysoundingthewaythatpeoplewhohateColdplaythinkColdplaysound.

TowhichColdplaymightreasonablyrespond:yeah,smartarse,andit’salsothekindofnondescriptpianoballadthathasshiftedus80malbums.LiketheirEno-abettedattemptatexperimentationon2008’sVivaLaVida,AHeadFullofDreamsisfrustratinglyblightedbythesensethatColdplayhaven’tfullycommittedtothealbum’sbigidea:theykeepdeviatingfromtheStargatepopplantoknockoutstufflikeAmazingDay,whichhasaguitarlinebrazenlypinchedfromJohnBarry’sMidnightCowboythemeandisself-evidentlygoingtoturnupsoundtrackingclipmontagesonsportsprogrammesandrealityshowsfortherestofeternity.It’samootpointwhetherthat’sasignofinnateconservatismorofabandthatknowexactlywhattheyaredoing,whounderstandthatyouwon’tkeeppackingoutthoseMidwesternsportsstadiumsifyoufrightenthehorses.Asitis,theredoesn’tseemmuchchanceofColdplayperformingtoemptyseatsintheimmediatefuture.